Things I want to buy - that don't exist
I've always hated working.
I wonder why rich people work, and celebrities keep doing movies.
as a teen i would say I wanted to find a shed, so I could live, and I wouldn't need to pay rent.
you can work a lot, or not-spend a lot - same right?
i still sometimes feel this way.
as a guy, whenever you tell another man this, he says - 'well, good luck finding a woman!'
which is honestly how many guys think.
i was just like - I'll find a shed-girl.
a few years ago I started working freelance software jobs. I made more money than i need.
i put it all in the bank and it just added up.
as someone that hates working, hates buying things, and hates shopping -
having extra money, and a poor lifestyle, is a dissonance that's loud.
i started getting angry at myself for not having a plan.
why was i working, if I had nothing to buy?
you could guess - i just started buying things badly.
i don't know how to shop well.
i bought the wrong air-conditioner for my apartment.
and it just leaked all over the place.
i hate travelling, and am a bad traveller.
you should want to go somewhere, before you go, right?
i considered buying a crumbly house in the country.
what am i gonna do with a house in the country?
I looked at life-coaches, fashion advice, cooking classes.
it was all kind of depressing actually.
i googled some scientology workshops.
having money for the first time is a fucked-up thing.
many people don't handle it well.
these days I'm working less. I have less money, but longer evenings to scroll through amazon reviews, and change my mind about things.
There are a few things that have come up, but I couldn't find.
please let me know if one is a thing,
An e-Ink wall-calendar
i want a quiet thing on the wall that shows me what day of the month it is.
that's all.
no syncing to stuff, no nothing.
it could update once at midnight, then shut-off.
I don't mind charging it even once a month.
some designers made a concept video for a cool colourful one in 2017.
i looked into making one and:
1) e-ink is really expensive.
the size of a normal painting would be at least ~$600.
2) it would need an interface to set the time/timezone.
and get the DST-change updates,
which means wi-fi, which means linux, which means a power-cable...
anyways, i want one.
A few-second dimmer
I'm a huge fan of mechanical timer switches.
i have a small appartment and run about 6 of them.
anyone that's tried doing anything in home-automation knows that it's a comical disaster.
there's no point using any commercial scheme.
one thing that really works though, is these little timer switches.
they turn things on & off on a schedule, and they never complain.
they turn on the lights so abruptly though, it is always alarming.
this year i paid a-bazillion dollars for the phillips wake-up light, which I couldn't even get to work.
what i want is a little device that ramps the power up and down, once the timer turns on and off.
the longer the ramp, the better.
having lighting fade in some kind of brian-eno / tony-stark sorta-way,
thats just my vibe.
i mean, what i want is a capacitor.
i just don't trust myself to build it, and I wanna buy one.
Portable dishwasher
i swear, one day I will buy a whole house, just so I can have a dishwasher.
Millenials are all renting. We're priced-out, and it's maybe permanent.
I don't mind paying rent, I just deeply hate washing dishes.
I resent cooking, mostly because of the gross dish-sponges, and the neanderthal-like scrubbing.
i just always feel like a moron.
worse is that any alternatives to cooking involve excessive packaging, and poor nutrition.
i'm wrecking myself, and the world, because I can't have something invented in the 1950s.
I want a millenial dishwasher, with fancy settings, and cool optimizations.
when i'm reno-victed, i don't wanna gift my landlord some huge appliance.
Complete works of Bach
i want to buy some kind of vanity object with all BWV 1–1080 compositions,
in chronological order.
i don't care who's performing it.
that would be ~200 hours, or ~15gb.
that's about 150 cds, or 230 vinyl records
this is what 230 records would look like.
i want that.
classical music has such problematic and old-fashioned licensing and royalty issues,
there are some existing cd packages that cost well-over > $500.
i have no idea why.
also, CD-players? not a good time.
i've also thought about buying a 20gb mp3 player, and finding it as some kind of gross torrent file.
point is, it doesn't really exist.
really, i'd buy any major composer if it was a cool-looking object.
it just seems like a neat idea.
Ad-blocking router
the pi-hole is an amazing ad-blocker that goes between your router and the outside internet.
it stops all ads, on all devices, forever.
it costs $9.
it also logs requests, so you can catch your internet-blender sending all your personal data, every second, or whatever.
it is so, so cool.
unfortunately, it involves, typing arcane linux commands, screwing with your router-settings,
knowing the difference between a netmask and a netstat..
and if you screw something up, your house is offline.
and you're scrolling through help forums for obscure things to try.
i couldn't figure-out how to change my router settings, which seem confusing-on-purpose
and i program computers for a living.
i want badly just to pay for a thing that does this for me.
i have no idea why it does not exist.
An electronic dust attractor
man, I hate nothing more than dust.
this idea, that we have to constantly re-clean every surface,
we have to reclean it, even if we haven't touched it.
and you can't see it until it's a gross-out problem
... and we're okay with doing this over and over.
dust is attracted to statically charged things, like an old television screen.
what I want is an electrostatic device to attract dust in the air.
I'd just wipe that down, you know? I wouldn't mind.
Multi-channel white noise machine
I use a white-noise machine to drown-own traffic sound.
I figured any of the electronic ones just use a cheap tweeter speaker,
so even if you select 'brown noise' it's still white noise.
but even a mechanical spinning-fan one, it's still a loud thing in the room.
it doesn't feel like the room is full.
i'd like something with 10-15 speakers, of different sizes, that chain together.
i'd like it to be programmed to turn on/off at specific times.
i'd like the volumes to dynamic, so they slowly change balance, but remain a combined volume.
what i don't want is to buy 10 white-noise machines, and flick them on every night.
Remote-control repeater
I'd like a big rubber button, that I can program,
and that simply repeats a button on my remote control.
just a ball to squeeze, to Turn off the tv.
or whatever.
i'd just put one on a wall, so I can smack it, and mute things.
remote controls are awful, you can't throw them, you only use 5% of the buttons,
and their output is not that complicated.
i'd like to split-out the functions into dumbed-down 1-function objects.
Storing, and repeating a specific function wouldn't be hard.