i have these fantasies about joining a club.
the way the schriners, or the freemasons, or the rotary club meet often, and know one another well.
it also makes me sad that I want to do this.
i want a committed, long-term millenial club.
stop me if you've heard this -
the internet used to be better.
and it's not that I haven't kept up.
i insist it isn't.
it's more like the library burned down, and I miss the books.
You can hear it in people's voices, when they talk about newspapers.
newspapers made better people.
there was a fair narrator, to the world.
engaging with it was a healthy thing to do.
and this made people better
When people talk about addiction to their phones, they usually mean addiction to journalism.
every application is a funnel to more journalism.
Most every google search is now front-loaded with thousands of news articles.
i insist, it did not used to be this way -
most users would click around for hours, and visit no news outlets.
i'm not making this up.
i've always wished for a computer that was a principally wikipedia-focused machine.
The idea is that most interactions should funnel you into wikipedia content.
that's what I want.
Schizoid personality disorder is marked by having a strong desire to be alone, and a strong desire to be with people, at the same time.
The casino-psychologists at facebook argument is missing it.
as though saying the world 'dopamine' makes it smart, or right.
What motivates a news-addiction is this 'secret schizoid' state
the outrageous pull to be sad, or upset in something with everyone else.
but in your bedroom.
the best illustration of the internet schizoid condition is from youtuber Casey Neistat,
his videos rarely get under 5m people watching him.
in this video he shows us his studio, under constant video surveillance.
if anyone comes near him, he is immediately notified.
the largest football stadium in america is 107 thousand people.
each of his videos is viewed by 50 Michigan stadiums full of people.
but one person near him is a trigger.
Sartre talks about a person sitting alone in a park,
as they sit there alone, the whole park is happening for them.
but as one person enters the park, and the entire park collapses.
they can't actually observe the park any more now.
like the person stole the park from their brain somehow.
I think the demand for emotional journalism existed before the click-bait business model required it.
it's the emotion-loop you enter when you're blissfully alone.
it calls for a shared feeling,
and we're just alone more.
I love being alone,
but I resent the part of me that refreshes twitter like an addict.
it's obvious that these are connected.